How to Share the News of a Miscarriage
This was incredibly difficult for me. I felt completely frozen, unsure how to find the words or even where to begin. I had to share two major life events—first, that I was pregnant, and then, that I had miscarried. I remember going back and forth, debating whether to call or text the people closest to me. The thought of saying it out loud felt overwhelming. But deep down, I knew I couldn’t carry this alone any longer. I needed to let my support system in, even just a little.
In the end, I chose to send a simple text to my family and friends. I told them I had miscarried and gently let them know that I wasn’t ready to talk about it in person, but I’d reach out when I was. I’ll never forget the feeling that came right after hitting “send.” A wave of relief washed over me like I had released something I’d been holding so tightly inside.
The grief didn’t disappear, but the act of sharing gave me a little more room to breathe. For the first time in days, I felt a bit lighter emotionally and physically. Sometimes, just letting others know you’re not okay is a step toward healing.
I understand how difficult this can be, so I’ve put together a list of thoughtful ways you can share this with your loved ones.
Directly:
“I had a miscarriage recently.”
“We lost the pregnancy.”
“I had a miscarriage and It’s been really difficult. I am still processing everything!”
“We were expecting, but sadly we lost the baby. It's been really hard.”
“We lost the pregnancy. It’s been a really hard time. I just wanted you to know!”
If You’re Not Ready to Talk in Detail:
“I went through something really painful. I had a miscarriage. I’m not ready to talk much about it, but I wanted you to know.”
“I had a miscarriage. I appreciate your support, but I might need some space as I process.”
We were expecting, but sadly we lost the baby. I am still processing everything and I’m not sure what I need right now. I will let you know when I am ready.”
Text or Written Option
If speaking feels too hard, it’s absolutely okay to share it through a message:
“Hi (NAME), I wanted to share that I recently had a miscarriage. It’s been a really emotional time, and while I’m not ready to talk in depth right now, I’ll reach out when I am. Thanks for holding space for me.”