Validating Your Identity After Miscarriage
Navigating your identity after a miscarriage is really hard. You are not the person you were before you got pregnant and you certainly are not the person you were when you were pregnant. There is this silent transformation that happens: a transition that’s rarely spoken about, but deeply felt.
From the moment you find out you’re pregnant, you begin to feel like a mother. You’re growing a baby inside of you. That identity begins to shape who you are. But then, when miscarriage happens, you’re left in this space where you’ve lost that part of yourself. You're no longer carrying, but you're also not the same woman who never knew what it was like to carry. You can't go back to that version of yourself.
Instead, you find yourself with a new identity: a woman who has lost a child to miscarriage. To the world, it may look like you've never carried. But inside you know. You always will.
These reflection questions are here to support you as you explore who you are now.
What parts of my identity from before pregnancy do I still hold on to and what parts feel different now?
How do I navigate the space between who I was before pregnancy, who I was while pregnant, and who I am now?
In what ways do I acknowledge or honor the mother I was during pregnancy, even though it ended differently than expected?
In what ways do I feel visible or invisible in conversations about pregnancy and motherhood?
What does it mean for me to take up space as a woman who has experienced miscarriage?
What small acts of self-expression can help me feel more present and grounded in my body and identity?
What does it mean for me to move forward while still carrying this loss with me?